Ray LaMontagne: Lesson Learned Meaning
Lesson Learned Lyrics
Like a hammer through the room
That I could choose another over her
You always said I was an actor, baby
Guess in truth you thought me just amateur
That you never saw the signs
That you never lost your...
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One of Ray’s best. This song spoke directly to me at a time that I desperately needed to hear it. I have read different interpretations of it and find it interesting that women have tended to skew it towards him simply being a cheater and insensitive. As a man, I have a different take. First, you can’t write such lyrics without having had a doomed relationship with a deeply insecure and manipulative person. There’s a sense of desperation in him and in the end, he reclaims his independence. I suspect that she never made him feel good about himself unless she was getting everything she wanted. She was a victim from the moment he let her know that he had other passions. She probably made him feel like he wasn’t free to follow his passion. Her insecurities drove him towards resentment and ultimately, she got what she wanted. If you have ever been in a relationship with a person like this, it is exhausting. They watch every move you make and keep a score sheet. They eat away at your soul. Sometimes, they even use their perceived notions of neglect and suspicion of infidelity as justification for them to go out and start an affair. It’s not always easy to break away from someone like this because they are good at making you feel bad and you start to internalize it. You find yourself trying harder to get them to believe in you but it will never change.
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