Sugarcult: Memory Meaning
Memory Lyrics
This may never start.
We could fall apart.
And I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?
So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So...
-
A guy and a girl are "coming out" of a relationship. It is one in which he doesn't really want it to end, but is so totally helpless to "get it back to where we lasted". He was in several relationships before but had never been so emotionally close as this. He and the girl have always known each other and were aware they had feelings but were from "different worlds" so to speak.
He hung onto the relationship he was in and found his self in an intense "non relationship" with her. After much soul searching he breaks free to be with this girl. He has never been with anyone like her and he, himself, feels it will not work because of their differences.
She is more than he ever imagined she would be because she is
such a nerdy girl and so delicate and prissy and smart and active in society where as he is more of a loner but well liked with his own "infamous" charms and gifts of humor and wise beyond his years.
They are so totally caught up into each other they soon are "exclusively each others". Soon their worlds collide as their differences start appearing. After several run ins with each other, he starts to let her wrap him around her little finger so to speak. This does not digest too well. She is so proper and determined in life she can't see that he has his own "routes" to travel and their worlds fall apart.
She, being the stronger of the two, takes a stand and ends the relationship. She tries with all her might to hang onto "friendship" and he just doesn't want it unless she is all his. Finally he tries to accept her as a friend because he can not bring himself to not have her in his life, even if it is thus.
He finally realizes he has been wasting so much time, "a half a year or more" because he has to mature and find his own "self worth" He has to let her go for his own sake so that he can one day face his own fears. He is realizing he will always have his "Memories" and He is also scared she will not even remember. -
The guy and the girl have both wanted to be together for a long time, but they are just both too insecure (and possibly afraid of rejection) to admit it. They become close friends for a short time.
During this time, they both hang on to the notion of being with each other. As the months go on, and nothing happens they begin to mutually distance themselves from one another because they think it is the healthiest option.
After this, their feelings for one another slowly begin to fade (but neither of the two notice the fading), and despite their attempts to distance themselves from one another, they always end up meeting by chance. Eventually this leads to a hook-up, because they both loose their cool at the same time and admit (not by words but by actions) their feelings for one another.
The girl realizes that she doesn't have feelings for him anymore during the hook-up (and that she is becoming "insincere" with her actions) but is too confused and scared to tell him so because she doesn't want to hurt him. So, she distances herself from him, but remains barely close enough to have a relationship.
He on the other hand was finally realizing his feelings for her, and seems content with what is going on during the hook-up. He's never felt this way before, and is not sure what to make of the situation because he's not used to having deep feelings for a girl (because he is used to little unmeaningful relationships with girls). He notices that she starts acting funny and not like her usual self during the time they are together and begins to dislike the girl that she's suddenly become. (She's become this because of her insincerity and confusion with her feelings, but he never finds this out).
They part ways for the weekend and neither of them calls or tries to contact the other. She doesn't want to face the facts, and he doesn't want to deal with the girl because he doesn't know what to make of her sudden change in personality. He runs into one of his exes during this time, and they decide to get together (and he suddenly forgets about the girl). Meanwhile, the girl spends her weekend trying to gather up the courage to tell him that this was a mistake, (because she has never been in a situation where she's had to hurt someone she cared about), but never ends doing this.
She decides to go see him a couple days after the weekend and to try to go sort out what happpened with him. Before she can even get a word out he breaks off the relationship (to her relief). Just before she goes to explain her side (and almost even thank him for breaking it off), he tells her the truth and how he spent the weekend with another girl. She becomes angry, (because even though they weren't together, she didn't think she was something that he would only spend a day on and then go on to another girl 48 hours later). She thought that they were close enough friends and that she could trust him, and she realizes that she meant nothing to him which hurt her alot. She tells him that she will never speak to him again and holds to her word and these are her parting words. She never says anything else (this includes not telling him that she didn't have feelings for him anymore) and she walks away with him thinking that she's still hung up him. Little does he know that he's dead wrong.
He breaks up with the girl he spent the weekend with a month later and picks up his habit of little nonmeaningful relationships again. She on the other hand moves on, but won't talk to anymore guys because she is afraid that someone will take advantage of her again. This goes on for awhile.
As he goes through these relationships it becomes clearer and clearer that he's made a huge mistake. He hasn't been as content (as he was before) with any of the other girls. Meanwhile, she still refuses to talk to him because she's still angry about the way things ended.
Then, they begin to end up in situations where they have to deal with each other by chance. No matter how hard she tries to avoid him (or vise versa) they just seem to keep running into each other. She still maintains her icy cold manner and refuses to speak a word to him; while he stews over his words, trying to find something better sounding to say then the word sorry.
This goes on and on, and he can do nothing but sit back and watch the girl he now realizes he is in love with walk by and look right through him, not even acknowledging the fact that he exists anymore. She tries to remember exactly what happened (so that maybe she can find a reason to forgive him because it's obvious that they keep running into each other for a reason), but her head is still spinning and everything is blurred. He is no longer in her memory, and he is destined to be replaced if something doesn't change soon. He, on the other hand, keeps his memories of her forever, and they haunt him with reminders of his past regrets and his first love. He tries to gather up the nerve to explain this, but never does because he finally realizes that he made an irreversible mistake.
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