What do you think Gegen Meinen Willen means?

Tokio Hotel - Gegen Meinen Willen Meaning

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Gegen Meinen Willen Lyrics

"Das macht mich ferting"
"Es ist gegen meinen willen"
"Es ist gegen jeden sinn"

Translating too

"That kills me."
"It's against my will"
"It's against all sense"

I feel like this mean everyone is against something which is causing...

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