Evanescence: My Immortal Meaning
Song Released: 2003
My Immortal Lyrics
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is...
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I happened to read this interpretation: "Perhaps some people read a death theme into the lyrics because of the loss of Amy's sister, and mistakenly believing that Amy wrote it. However, feeling the presence of a loved one after death usually brings comfort, not a wish that they'd go away and leave you alone. Nor would death be a reason to resent having been alone "all along." Death generally results in temporary anger over them having left AFTER they die.
Regardless as to what the original intent of an author is, quite often they will later read something they've written and realize that their subconscious has added multiple levels of meaning to their work. Most artists are aware of the possibilities, no, probabilities of this occurring.
To me, this song could be about a lover, a friend, a parent, a child, a grandparent...or any other person that is loved but takes or even destroys in return. This story is kind of told in reverse, beginning with her/his feelings and then giving us clues as to "why."
Most importantly, it seems to be more about losing one's own sense of identity and self-worth due to the loss and/or betrayal of a loved one than about the actual loss of the loved one--in fact, the desire is that the loved one just go away (taking all the painful love and memories with them.)
"I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears"
She (or he) is emotionally drained and paralyzed by fear--by the end of the lyrics, I'd probably define the fears in terms of the psychological state known as "learned helplessness"
"And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone"
She is constantly tormented by memories he left behind.
"These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase"
He hurt or betrayed her in a way that she can never forget or recover from the emotional damage.
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me"
Out of love, she sacrificed her life to his well-being and in return, he took her life with him (emotionally/metaphorically) when he left.
"You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind"
She has and always will be imprisoned by him: First it was willingly out of love (captivated by his light); but now she is entrapped by despair (bound by loss and lies)
"Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams"
A face she loved (trusted) has incomprehensibley become the face of her tormentor. A dream morphing into a nightmare.
"Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me"
His words before leaving callously revealed the truth; his deceptions, her delusions, and destroyed her sense of reality.
"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along"
She is struggling with the reality that she was all alone in her love when he was with her...and ironically, now that he's left her, she isn't alone: He torments her with the memories of his betrayal (perhaps complicated by her genuine love for who she thought he was.)"
I wholeheartedly agree with this, but when I saw the mention of Amy's lost sister, it makes ME think that perhaps the tormentor never meant to hurt--perhaps it WAS her sister, who died and in doing so 'betrayed' her or betrayed her through some other way. -
From wikipedia:
""My Immortal" is a piano rock ballad written in slow and free tempo with 80 beats per minute. Ben Moody was inspired to write it by a previous story that happened to him. Lyrically, it talks about "a spirit staying with you after its death and haunting you until you actually wish that the spirit were gone because it won't leave you alone."[3] Moody later revealed that the song was written for his grandfather Bill Holcomb. Critical reception towards the song were positive with critics complimenting its piano melody. " -
From my interpretation, it seems to me that from the prospective of the song, that someone lost someone very important to them that possibly died. They want to forget the person who is gone and them pain and loss associated with them. They can't forget the loss however and are haunted in their dreams and driven to madness by hearing their voice inside their head. They remember the times where they wiped away all the person's tears and fought away all of their fears, and knows they will never forget the person and will still always hurt over them. And though that person will always be with them, it is metaphorically so they will always truly be alone.
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This song happened to be my lullaby too. Some internal feelings have changed my life complicated and mess up. I couldn't do anything right and act normal. And keep me thinking why all this happening to my life, now? Supposed we never met and What If? When to be over? These questions keep haunting my mind. i felt in love for the first time and true.Its hurt and the pain.
I pray and hope that everythings gonna turn good while the memories remain. Its like a curse and be my immortal value. i just need to move on and i wish him too. Waiting for the end?
E. -
the song my immortal isn just a song to me. it relates to my life but i dont see it as death i see it as pain and hurting from other issues. i listen to the song all the time, i cant sleep if its on playing in my room, i cant sudy if its not playing. the song is like a key to my living if you know what i mean. i try to sing it but i start to cry, dont get me wrong but when the words come out of me mouth it hits me and hard. the opening verse is so close to me as if this song has been writen for me. so thank you for writing the song.
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this song really is sad, no question. it could be about death, a break up or just them leaving you in whatever way. the lyrics (when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears...)mean that she basically sacrificed herself for this person. doing whatever she could to make sure that this person was well. it could have been a relative/lover etc that she was talking to. usually she wouldnt talk about this person's presence leaving her alone if it was about death but she could just be really upset with herself for letting this person slip away...the singer is probably just having trouble letting go of the relationship that these two people had and (metaphorically) this person has taken 'all of her' meaning taken her love and happiness with them by the death or break up that occurred. i really live this song and get teary when i listen to it.
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To me this song is about a person who has been through a bad break up and wants to speak up the their ex but cant because of their fear of losing that part of there life.
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Lots of people seem to think this song is about someone dying. I on the other hand feel like it's about someone being in a relationship where sthey love the other with their entire heart and the other person just takes and takes and takes, just completely draining her. And when all of it is over, everything reminds her of him because they built a life together, they lved each other with all of there hearts(or so she thought) and when he leaves her, all she has left is the memories and the life they built together. No matter how hard she wants to gwt over him, she can't, all she wants and all she ever will want is to be with him... And finally she comes to the realization that all along she was the only one in the relationship...
So sad...this song is spot on to my current relationship....:/ -
I always thought this song to be about a very dependent/co-dependent relationship. Probably with the other party being either narcissistic or substance abusing or any other way destructive. It's about feeling that this other person depleted you of all of your strength, replaced your identity with theirs and still being unable to break free and find a sense of self worth. Many abused victims feel this way about their abusers especially when abuse was gradual, emotional and over time. The narrator does not have the strength to leave or alternatively, to let go. He/she wishes that the other party will leave, thus, emphasizing the strength they have over the narrator. Many codependent people feel they have control over the alcoholic or other type of abuser but in reality, as much as they try to help him they dig a deeper hole for themselves. I always felt there is a deep co-dependence dimension to this song. *glowww
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Another sad love song...
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Well, I think that it's sung/told from to points of view: one of the living, and one of the dead.
"I'm so tired of being here" is looking at the fact that some peoplecant move on through grief and the ghost/soul/spirit/whatever MUST stick around until they can,in short, move on.
"And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here' and it won't leave me alone."
That's my evidence.
"you used to captive me, by your resonating light, now I'm bound by the life you left behind". The living had a familial, romantic or platonic relationship with the deceased, and can't move on. " your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams, your voice it chased away, all the sanity in me". Pretty obvious, ya think?
"These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real, there's to much that time cannot erase". Emotional wounds don't heal fast, hon.
Chours. This is basically reminiscing about the times the deceased and alive spent together.
"I tried so hard to tell myself that your gone, but though your still with me, Ive been alone all along" once again, pretty obvious. -
I think that this is a romeo/juliet type love story. They both love each other, but the relationship dosent work and never really worked.
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The last time I heard this, I started crying. It makes me think of my grandma, who died last month. I know that not everyone believes this is about losing a loved one, but I do.
"I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears."
This makes me think of how when I was a child, Grandma would always be the one to comfort me when I was scared. Now that she's gone, I have no one to comfort to comfort me.
"And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave."
Grandma was sick for a long time before she died. I used to think that if she had to die, then I wish she would just die so I wouldn't have to see her suffer anymore.
"Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone."
Now that she's gone, I still feel her presence here. I want to try to move on, but I can't, because she's still here, haunting me.
"These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real."
Her death opened a lot of wounds, and now, no matter how much time passes, they won't seem to heal. And when I went to her funeral, all I was thinking was, 'This is surreal.'
"There's just too much that time cannot erase."
For me, this refers to how Grandma and I fought all the time, and I don't know if she ever forgave me for everything I ever said to her. I feel that there was just too much said and done for time to erase.
"When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears."
This, I believe, is what Grandma would say if she was here. When I cried, she wiped away all my tears.
"When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears."
Like I said above, this is what I believe Grandma would say if she was here. When I screamed, she fought away all my fears.
"And I held your hand through all of these years."
I literally grew up with Grandma. So she actually did hold my hand through all the years I spent with her.
"But you still have all of me."
This, I believe, is her telling me that I still have her memory.
"You used to captivate me by your resonating light."
When I was younger, I thought Grandma was like a shining star. This is what this line makes me think of.
"Now I'm bound by the life you left behind."
She may be dead, but she left her memory behind, and I feel bound by grief.
"Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams."
Ever since she died, I haven't had a single night of good sleep. Half the time, when I do fall asleep, I usually dream about the moment when I found out that she was dead, or I'll dream that I was actually with her when she died, which I wasn't in reality.
"Your voice, it chased away all the sanity in me."
Sometimes I swear I can hear her voice, and it drives me insane.
"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone."
I'm trying to accept that she's dead, but it's not so easy. I can't very easily forget about her.
"But though you're still with me, I've been alone all alone."
I know that she's still with me in spirit, but I still feel all alone. I feel like my grief has separated me from the rest of my family, and all I have left is me and her memory. Since she died, I have never felt so lonely.
This is just what the song means for me. Each person, of course, hears a separate meaning. This is just what I hear since my grandma died. -
I'm just going to put the lyrics, in no particular order, and say what I think they mean, and then sum up at the end.
"I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears" she is saying that she doesnt want to be here on earth when she is suppressed by all of her fears. She's tired of being scared.
"when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears, when you'd scream I'd fight away all if your fears, and I've held your hand through all of these years, but you still have all of me" here she is saying that through her while life, she's been fending for herself, and yet life still traps her in it's horrible cage and she can't get free.
"I've tried so hard to tell myself that your gone, but though you're still with me, I've been alone all along" she keeps telling herself that bad life is no longer with her but it follows her everywhere she goes. Even though it is still with her, however, she's always been alone because it hasn't given her any comfort.
"and if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave, 'cause your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone" she wants her old life to leave so she can start over, but at the same time, it's all she's ever known, do it's a bit hard to let go. When the memories do leave her though, they always come back because small things remind her of her old life and it haunts her and won't leave her alone.
"these wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real, there's just too much that time cannot erase" the memories, or wounds/pain, from her old life hurt her and they wont heal and go away because time can't erase everything.
" you used to captivate me by your resonating light, now I'm bound by the life you left behind" her old life used to seem so great until things took a turn and she is trapped by everything that happened.
"your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams, your voice it chased away all the sanity in me" again, her old life haunts her and won't leave her alone. She doesn't feel sane.
So, actually, she is either talking about her old and bad life or she is talking to it. Personally, I think it is a mixture of both. Sorry if you don't agree with my interpretation, but it's what I think. :) bye now! -
I think that this piece can be applied to a lot of different situations; perhaps the loss of a loved one (a child, parent, grandparent, spouse, "significant other," etc.), but the way I really view it is a break-up.
All of this sounds like something that a boyfriend/girlfriend would do, not just a parent.
"And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone"
-To me, this means that the significant other is still around; like at a school, or they see each other around, and every time they see each other, memories return.
"When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me"
-This is my favorite set of lyrics. It's pretty self explanatory, except for "but you still have all of me." To me, this means that they haven't moved on from the break up (or death), and they really don't want to or they don't have much of a choice in the matter.
"You used to captivate me
By your resonating mind
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me"
-I think this can be taken many different ways.
"You used to captivate me by your resonating mind," means they were really, really happy.
"Now I'm bound by the life you left behind." I feel as though this means that they simply just can't move on, and they remember everything about everything in the relationships.
"Your face haunts my once pleasant dreams" to me is very self-explanatory.
My conclusion is that this piece is really about a loss, and a detrimental loss; something that you just don't up and get over, and I really think it can apply to many aspects of a person's life, particularly break-ups and death.
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